Caloden


Mother’s Day and anniversaries
May 15, 2006, 4:12 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today, Mother's Day, is ending on a somewhat typical note of what a lousy and usuitable mother I am for Cassidy. I try. I swear to freaking god I try so damn hard with that child, but it so often does not work. We are the two repelling ends of the magnets. We so want to be the other, stick-together ends but we aren't. Yes, we have those stick-together moments, but they very often in end in a tiff or tears.

Tonight she and I decided to paint our toenails. I made the mistake of clipping my nails while she was in the tub because I view toenail clipping as rather gross and I wanted to just get it out of the way. Apparently she had envisioned us clipping and painting together and this put her into a pout.  There was another drama about her hair and yet another about bed time. I am now so irritated that I want to go out in the dark and walk around the block a few times. In fact I am in such a huff that I have grown melancholy because not only is it Mother's Day but it is also my 13th wedding anniversary. Or it would have been had Matt and I not gotten a divorce three and a half years ago.

Yes, you have to suspect the day has gone awry when you start wondering just what would that thirteenth anniversary gift have been. A new pair of shoes? A hot stone massage? But in all fairness I can't bitch about it too much, Matt and I never once celebrated our anniversary. I sometimes thought this was because Mother's Day doesn't always fall on a given date, it changes every year and we could never agree just what was the exact day of our nuptials. In my darker moments I used to think we didn't make a big deal out of it because there was nothing to celebrate. Getting hitched while 7 1/2 months pregnant with our dogs as bridesmaid and best man just never sat right with me. So try as I might this day has always just been about the mother gig for me. 

Funny thing is that it was on Mother's Day three years ago when I realized that I might be divorced but that I still cared. Matt took me out for breakfast, I can't remember where the kids were, and after a couple of mimosas I realized that I still loved talking with him more than just about any other person in the universe. We talked and talked. The more we talked, the better his voice sounded and the more I wondered just why I had divorced him. That day marked the beginning of our reconciliation for me.

Tonight, three years and another child later, I found a Mother's Day card on my pillow. All of them had signed it, even wee Devon. Aside from the Cass drama, it has actually been a lovely day. I slept in until 9:20 and Matt made me breakfast. We all went to Loren's soccer game, why there was a soccer game on Mother's Day I will never understand. Then the kids and I spent the afternoon with my folks while Matt went to visit his other love, the river, to fly fish. I doubt I will bring up the anniversary gone by aspect to anybody else. Afterall, is there a 10th anniversay, 3 years of divorce, 2 years of living in sin plus a bastard child gift? Maybe the folks at Jerry Springer could advise us on that one.

Advertisements

2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

God, I double dog dare you to ask that question on Blogging Baby.

Comment by inkstains

Hmmmmm…..I think Emily Post recommends top-shelf vodka for such an occasion. 😎

Comment by merseydotes




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: