Mother’s Day is a-coming
May 12, 2006, 6:01 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

There are some days, usually mornings, when my mothering skills just don't shine. Perhaps it is the time of day or the lack of sufficient amounts of caffeine to lend mobility to my limbs, or maybe the cold hard truth is that I am no good at this. When I have these times I fear that the Mother of the Year award will never ever be mine to covet. I start to suspect that when the awards are held not only will I not receive an invitation, but that my name will be on the shoot-to-kill list, if sighted within three quare miles of the event, with all the other lame ass moms.

Yesterday was a day long shit fest of my lack of mothering skills. I spent most of the morning fighting the urge to lock Cassidy in a closet under a pile of dirty diapers. She refused to come downstairs because she could not locate the skirt she wanted to wear or the tights to match. She would not eat breakfast, pack up her lunch. Nothing. When finally my fury bubbled over enough that I hurtled over the baby gate and went stomping upsatirs, she locked herself in the bathroom. She muttered through the door that perhaps she could invite somebody else to her Mother's Day Tea, being held at her school on Monday afternoon. I told her to go scour the town looking for a willing victim. When she left for school I felt the most amazing sense of relief I have known in ages.

Cass returned home from school yesterday afternoon in tears. She had fallen from the tire swing and had a nasty bit of road rash on her head and cheek. I gave her the Medi-bear from the freezer, held her on my lap and then told her to go lie down. Big mistake on my part. Apparently she wanted to be cuddled all afternoon because after that the Thursday Evening Drama Show began. She would not eat the bagel I made for her, instead deciding that the only thing she could possibly ingest was a peice of pizza from the restaurant down the street. So plaguing was her need that all she could do was wail at the top of her lungs as she dragged herself from one end of the house to the other, but always just out of my arm reach. When her pizza request was denied, her bellows increased to screams until I grabbed a sweater and went over to the park in order to breathe and supress the urge to wrap her in dirty diapers.

When Matt came home I poked my head in the door, updated him on the drama and said I would be spending the rest of the afternoon and evening at my mother's house. I left him there in the kitchen, Cassidy draped over his shoulder and weeping about how mean I was. Loren was too engrossed in his computer game to utter more than a grunt of a good-bye, so I scooped up Devon and  made my escape. While at my mother's I received a near hourly phone call from Cass reminding me of her woes and implying their origins -me.

With a blunder of this size so close to Mother's Day I doubt I will receive that ever elusive M.O.T.Y. trophy. Maybe I could just get a lobotomy instead.


4 Comments so far
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Did she get the pizza?

Comment by Kelly

Oh, do you know how jealous I am that your mother is so nearby?

Comment by jen


Comment by Kelly

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Comment by artyutyiuio

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