Caloden


Get over it, already….
April 12, 2006, 6:56 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have recurring anxiety dreams on a fairly regular basis. They morph each time, but the general theme remains the same.When I have my act together, their frequency lessens, but in times of slacking they slap me something fierce on an almost nightly basis. It doesn’t seem to matter which area of my life is in arrears, these dreams rise up from my inner psyche and terrorize me to my very core. The theme goes something like this: for some reason, and it is never quite clear, I have not completed a class during my highschool career. The class varies, but it generally boils down to a math course.  The incompletion of this class renders my current college degree completely useless.  I am not quite sure who sits on the review board of my educational career, but they are cruel and completely unbending in their judgement. Due to my inability to previously finish the course I must now, at whatever age I happen to be, return to school and finish not only the class but repeat every other class and several other grades depending upon where that class is in the highschool curriculum. The one hitch being that I cannot reveal that I am not my current age but really 14, 15 or 16. This means that sometimes  I must conceal the fact that I can actually drive. It also means that I have to firgure out daycare for Devon, afterschool care for Loren and Cassidy and babysitting times for Friday night football games, all without letting my classmates or teachers know. The pressure is such that if I err in way I will have to repeat the semester again and again, something akin to that creepy Groundhog movie.

Last night I had a new twist on the dream. I had to return to college for four semesters, leave the children and repeat/finish my classes. But the hitch in this dream was that I had to start this all mid-semester. This meant I had to find a dorm room, catch up on all my classes, arrange for all the care and living arrangements for the children during my absence and still aprear calm, cool and collected. Needless to say I awoke in a panic this morning with all the planning I had to do….

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2 Comments so far
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Oh, your dreams are so much worse! Mine are that I find myself at the end of my semester in college, and I discover that I had a chemistry class that I just completely forgot about, forgot where it was, and never went to. And didn’t drop. So, I failed it. And I end up in a complete panic about how anybody could be that stupid.

Comment by jen

[…] Last night I had a variation on my anxiety dream. This time not only was I back in Jr. High School trying to finish some Godforsaken math course, but I was also five months pregnant. In my dream I found this especially disturbing because I had a tubal ligation after Devon was born. When I awoke from surgey I asked my doctor if she was absolutely sure she had completely snipped my fallopian tubes. She replied that not only had she snipped them but that she also cauterized the ends and then buried them in muscle. So in my dream I was raging pissed that my tubes had somehow reattached themselves to my uterus and allowed an egg to pass through. […]

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