Caloden


From the Horse’s Mouth
March 5, 2006, 5:03 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Last night Loren and I went to the grocery store for a big shop. We have been cracking down on Cass and her never ending demands lately and so she opted to remain home while we harvested and gathered. I usually shop on Sundays, but being ski season and having to work on Sundays, Friday seems like a better time to trudge on out and scour the store for the endless food goods my brood requires. Loren was his usual Chatty Cathy self, so I set myself on Auto Reply, bought Devon a balloon to placate him and off we went. We were most of our way through the store by the time we got to the hygeine aisles. New toothbrush for me, bubble bath for Cassidy and Devon. Then Loren popped the question. I should add here that his class is currently studying anatomy and physiology. It is the requisite 7th grade curriculum of nutrition, digestion and sex ed. So as we passed the femine hygeine aisle Loren said, “So, So-and-so asked one of the girls in my class what a tampon was. She laughed in his face and ran off.”

Sensing yet another Now-or-Never moment, I casually replied, “Oh. Huh. Really? How was that?”

“Stupid, really.”

“Well you know what one is, don’t you?” I asked, hoping for a Casual Cool on my part.

“Duh, Mom. You told me when I was, like, six.” He sighed.

“Oh. Right. I was just wondering if you remembered.”

“Yeah, so do they come in different sizes? Tampons? You know like Devon’s diapers.” He asked.

Now here I paused, did I get into flow? Heavy days? Light days? Pre-childbirth and post? Would it traumatize him? Would that be better if it did? These are not the sorts of questions you usually associate with the cosmetics aisle. So this time I opted for Causal Honesty.

“Well, Loren, it varies from girl to girl. Woman to woman and where they are in life. Right now it’s probably not something you need to worry about too much. ”

But then, that evil dark side got the better of me and I couldn’t resist it.

“But you know, someday you might need to know these things. You might have a girlfriend or wife who needs you to run out to the store and shop in the Feminine Needs aisle. Then you’ll definitely need To Know. The sign of a True Man is one who is completely comfortable in That aisle, you know.” I said to him with a bit of a smile on my face.

He looked at me in the complete horror of the preteen that he is and said, “Ugh, Mom! Gross! I don’t think so.”

On our way home we were again chatting about stuff when we got on to the subject of music. I felt a bubble of excitement as told him of my latest discovery, that when I am hooked up to Yahoo! IM I can listen to streaming music. He looked over at me and I knew what was coming.

“Duh. You didn’t know that?” He said as he rolled his eyes. He then went on to tell me all the features of it that I just didn’t GET.
I like to think of it as information sharing. He scratches my back and I scratch his. Perhaps that is part of what this parenting gig is all about.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Oh god, I haven’t had to have the tampon conversation yet. I don’t know if Sam knows what they are.

I didn’t know about the yahoo music thingy. How does that work?

Comment by jen

I always think it`s ironic that my sons knew more about menstruation since they were toddlers than I knew when I was a preteen.

Comment by L.




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