The Word for Today is….F%^$
December 13, 2005, 8:43 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Just when I think I am getting the hang of this Mom Gig, I wildly stumble and fall flat on my face. This week I have been running about, decorating Fancy Houses, planning meals, paying the bills to ensure nothing gets disconnected and feeling like I am just in reach of that Mother of the Year statuette. I have been in warp speed as I juggle the kids, guzzle coffee and imagine myself in calm control. I have felt that picturesque Christmas just within my grasp as I hustle about making sure Everything is Perfect. All that came to a screaming halt this evening as I was discussing tomorrow’s intricate pick up and delivery of children details with my mother. She has been minding Devon this week as I put the finishing touches on the Fancy Homes. As we planned tomorrow’s details she kept mentioning the date of the fourteenth. I looked at her with pity, as I was feeling so organized and together, and explained that we needed to discuss the thirteenth of the month. Meaning tomorrow. As in Wednesday, December 13th. She looked at me with her own dose of maternal pity, very self-rightous on her part, and told me TODAY is the thirteenth. Not tomorrow. Meaning I am a day off. I am not organized. I am not in control. And I am fucked. This means that tomorrow is Cassidy’s Christmas pageant siging thing. The one with the bake sale fundraiser. The one where she has to be clean, well groomed and attired in festive garb. The one where I have to travel up and down the valley to work, gather Devon and arrive to listen to her songs and purchase baked goods. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck a red and green colored Christmas duck.

Tonight I have to run to the store to fetch baked good supplies, whip them up, locate matching socks and bribe Cassidy into a shampoo bath. Then I have to fight her with a brush and bribe her some more in order to style her hair. I would rather cut off my right hand than try to groom that child.

How do the Other Mothers do it? I don’t think I will ever get the hang of this Mom thing.


2 Comments so far
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I have no idea. But I admire you for going ahead and baking. I would have purchased store bought goods, but I don’t have anything to say about grooming, because I have boys.

And Tommy’s Christmas thingy is on Thursday. And I am still sick, so I am going to take a bath, take Ibuprofen, and crawl into bed.

Comment by jen-o-rama

Other mothers make their hair dresser sister-in-laws come over and do their children’s hair. Do you want to borrow her?

Comment by the girl i used to be

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