Wasting Away in Margarita Land…
December 9, 2005, 8:57 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

It is so fucking cold. I hate the cold. I loathe warming up my car in the mornings. I can’t stand clunky boots. Wearing long underwear makes me feel even fatter. Icy roads scare the hell out of me. Winter is wrong on just so many levels for me. I grew up in the mountains. I’ve had my fair share a fluffy, snowy scenics. If I could, I would go someplace warm. Someplace where I don’t get a chill if I stand within three feet of the windows. A land where I could wear strappy sandals every day of the year.

This morning it was -6 degrees outside. It was so cold that my dog, Mouse, would not go out and do his morning job. He is half Daschound and lacking most of his body hair. When the ground freezes he prefers to lift his leg in my closet. (He sucks and is basically a shit head, but the kids love him and so I have yet to stick him in the microwave for my own enjoyment.)

I know I am being an ingrate. We live in one of the world’s most beautiful places. I didn’t realize until I went away to the Midwest for college that not everbody got to go skiing every weekend. Growing up I always sighed at the thought of having to go skiing -yet again, carrying all that heavy equipment, sitting on a cold chairlift…. But, as somebody recently pointed out to me, there is a reason why many people only come here for one week out of the year. It is not because they have real lives and must toil away in the plains of the country. No sir. It is because it is so goddamned cold, and to live here for the other 51 weeks of the year would just be fucking insane.

And so I sit here at my desk, a space heater on my feet and a blanket draped over my lap. The money I could have spent on plane tickets to Hawaii will go to the electric company. I will dream of a day when the children have grown and I can move to Florida with all the other old geezers.


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Ha, you and me both, Baby. Every day that we bundle up to go running in 0 degree windchills, so our lips can crack, our feet can crack, and the rest of our bodies can chap, we yell, “It is so BUTT FUCKING COLD!” And that makes us feel better.

Comment by jen-o-rama

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