Caloden


The Manor
December 5, 2005, 8:57 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

For one reason or another the children and I have been staying at my parent’s house for nearly two weeks. We came the day before Thanksgiving so that I could do my annual decorating job on my mother’s windows and we never left. First I did the windows, and then the Thanksgiving table and last night I got the Christmas tree done. It just seems that once I complete one project my mother has something else for me to do. And it’s not that my place is a long drive, I live about five miles down the road from my parent’s house. Everyday I tell myself that this is the day we will go home and then throughout the day I find reasons that I might stay just one more night.

Every night the three kids and I snuggle into the room where I grew up, although it now bears no resemblance to the room that was once mine. Devon has his portable crib, Loren and the dog have their upper bunk of the trundle bed and Cassidy and I somehow manage to squeeze into the lower bunk. Every night I wash the kids’ laundry and every morning they choose one of two outfits that they have been wearing for about the past fourteen days. And every morning my father looks at me with a question, and I suspect a hope in his eyes, of what are today’s plans. And I just sort of shrug. He nods, grabs his portable coffee cup and heads off to his chambers for the day. I know my parents love having the kids, these are their only grandchildren. But we number four, we are unruly and we are loud. There have been other times over the years when I have sought solace here. First I came with Loren, then with Loren and Cass and now with the three of them.

There is something comforting in the dysfuntion that is my family home. My mother is fairly nutty. My father is often detached. But they are my family. I am hoping this time to find the answer I am seeking. And maybe tomorrow will be the day I go home.

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3 Comments so far
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I wish I lived next door to you.

Comment by jen-o-rama

I don’t know, Caloden. I don’t want to be something of a stalker but the attachment I feel for you and your blog is something of an obsession. I can’t even tell you how much I enjoy your writing and your ravings about things. I check up on you every day–even before I check on Jen. (Don’t tell her that.) I am not a big commenter but I just wanted to tell you how much I hope you find your peace. I hope your pills are starting to work. I admire your dedication to your children and your idea of what life should be. And now I am getting corny.
Take care.

Comment by the girl i used to be

Aw, Kim, I love you! And I won’t tell myself that you check on her before me :).

(Heather, Kim is my best friend from college).

Comment by jen-o-rama




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