Holiday Effing Cheer
November 23, 2005, 9:16 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Tonight all three children and I trooped to my parent’s house so that I could finish decorating my mother’s windows. It is my appointed family task that I perform on an annual basis. Every year about a week before Thanksgiving my mother hauls boxes of garland, lights and doo-das from her basement and then I spend hours and hours determining which windows will have which theme, how many strands of new lights we need etc. As I have mentioned before, my faith in most things is not deep, and this extends to Christmas. But I do feel strongly about color schemes, and so I cannot bear it for a year to pass and my mother’s windows to be tacky. And Christmas truly can be horrifically tacky. The blinking lights, or lights that both blink and play music, Disney themed ornaments…they all wear on me this time of year. In fact my family still discusses, after a few drinks, ghosts of Christmases past when I walked out on the tree decorating because my brother put both white and colored lights on the tree -at the same time.

Earlier this afternoon my mother had the task of purchasing more white lights so that I could finish my job, which has now stretched on to nearly a week. When she came home and I opened the bag I found nothing but pain. I was met with twinkling lights, not blinking but still awful. And one strand had white chord while the other strand a black chord. I hung them all up and set them on the super blinker setting just to punish her. Needless to say that Friday morning she has her marching orders to trudge on out and fight for the correct lights, lest she rot in tacky Christmas hell for the next five weeks.

On another note, it appears that Cassidy has The Eye. She knew right away what a blunder my mother had committed. I think she may be a Christmas Decorating Nazi. It makes me proud to know I might actually be doing something right.


2 Comments so far
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Oh dear. I knew what error she had made right when you wrote it. I can see it on paper. But I don’t know that I would have known if I had opened the bag.

I especially love that you set it to superblink just to punish her. Maw hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Comment by jen-o-rama

Sounds like you have my taste. I’m totally with you on this.

Comment by MIM

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