The World’s Smallest Violin is Playing My Song
November 14, 2005, 10:16 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I don’t think can’t take it anymore. I can’t deal with the oatmeal stickiness that coats Devon’s booster chair. The cheerios, raisins and juice stains that cover his spot beneath the table are beyond gross. There are a billion bouncy balls and aphabet puzzle pieces littering the living room floor. The guinea pig has kicked out bedding from her cage and Devon loves to pick it up and toss it into the air so that most of it lands in his hair. Over the weekend Devon found the dog food bag in the pantry and has distributed it, piece by piece, in the cabinets, the tupperware containers and his toy basket. I just want to scream, but if I begin I’m not sure I’ll stop until I am completely mute.

It’s not that I don’t love being a mother, I truly do. But I suspect I have hit some sort of toddler intolerance wall. It has been at least seven years since I last had a toddler and all the muck one brings. I am ill prepared for this phase and not well equipped for the pure freaking randomness that is toddlerhood. This morning I have had fantasies of taking Devon across the street to the park, there I would leave him with a free to good home sign around his neck. He’s super cute and I bet he would find a new home in a jiffy. I would then run home, lock the door, draw a hot bath and read a trashy novel. When the older kids came home from school and asked to his whereabouts, I would calmly explain his new origins and they would accept this as a healthy step in the right direction.

But, alas, it is not to be. I would definitely miss out on Mother of the Year if I gave away my child to the first taker. The older kids would find fault with my decision. The Other Moms would balk. And I would miss the little guy something fierce. Instead we will go read his scratch and sniff books, play ball and look at the new fish. He will continue to redistribute the contents of the pantry and most of his meals will end up on the upholstery. This is where we are right now. Some moments are priceless and others are incredibally challenging. Today I will not start screaming, instead I will love him, tickle him, listen to his giggles and truly try to appreciate all that it is.


1 Comment so far
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I have to thank you, every day, for your blog, and the added birth control benefits it brings to my life.

Still? I can’t wait to meet him.

Comment by jen-o-rama

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