Caloden


It’s Lonely Up Here on My Cross
November 13, 2005, 7:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Despite my new medication, today I found myself in the kitchen trying oh so hard to not hyperventilate. Devon was wrapped around my knees while he tried to climb my legs so that he could more effectively scream his frustrations into my face, I guess his wails were not working at knee level. Cassidy was perched at the computer trying to play a game she couldn’t understand, loudly demanding Loren’s assistance. And I was trying to tell Loren, yet again, to get off his ass and finish his fucking homework. This scene had been in rotation for a better part of the morning and suddenly the thought that I would have to cook them all lunch, mediate the fights, continue to prod Loren’s gluteal region and clean up the house for the week was just way too much to stomach. I kept waiting for my super duper Prozac suit to materialize, the one that would give me infinite patience, an endless well of energy and take 10 pounds off my hips. When it dawned on me that no such suit came with my pills I started to whimper and twitch. Loren, a true blue co-dependent in the making, heard me start to stutter and came into the kitchen and quietly removed me of Devon’s death grip. Once free of the squealing I looked around myself, realized I could in no way deal with the house and suggested to the children that we vacate the premises. We decided upon the new Petco and drove twenty miles to look at fish and chinchillas.

Upon our arrival at Petco, Loren decided his life could not continue without a Chinese fighting fish and he chose to spend his birthday money on one. Realizing Loren was getting something without her, Cassidy conned him into buying her one of everything he was getting, and in his purchasing euphoria he agreed to anything she demanded. Much excitement followed and by the time we left both Loren and Cass had fish, gravel, plants and tank decorations. They were both quivering with giddiness the whole way home.

I have informed them that in no way will I clean the fish tanks, that those fish will float dead in their own muck before I extend any helping hand. I reminded them that I have Cassidy’s guinea pig cage to clean every other day, the family dog and cat to feed, a baby to nurse… I quite literally have enough shit in my life already. They laughed and promised to diligently tend to their new pets. I know they are fibbing, they mean well, but they are fibbing nonetheless. Next Sunday I will have to add fish tanks to my to do list, but maybe by then I will have found my Prozac suit and maybe by then the new chore won’t cause me to hyperventilate.

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1 Comment so far
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Oh, how did I miss this post? Hee, good luck with it all. I just freaked out and cleaned my house, v. uncharacteristic, but I couldn’t stand it one. more. minute.

Comment by jen-o-rama




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