November 7, 2005, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Clarity sometimes grabs me at the oddest of times and in these moments I suspect that things around me have run amuck in a fairly seriously way. Following is a list, in no particular order, of my suspicions:

  • That snapping those many, many leg snaps on Devon’s pajamas should not bring me to tears.
  • Cassidy’s compulsive need to spontaneously hug me should comfort me rather than give me the urge to run from the room.
  • Loren’s desire for a new snowboard jacket, and my inability to procure one, should not cause me to itch all over.
  • The dirty dishes on the counters shouldn’t create noise in my head every time I pass the kitchen counter.
  • My inability to breathe should be caused by aerobic activity rather than an average evening at the dinner table.
  • The thought of getting from noon to 6 p.m. -Devon’s current bedtime- shouldn’t seem like an impossible task.
  • That focusing on more than one thought at a time should be something a grown person of 35 can accomplish.
  • The first thought when I awake in the morning should likely not be, “Holy fuck, when can I go back to sleep?”
  • Conversations with the Other Moms should probably not cause me to hyperventilate.
  • My favorite companions should consist of a group with more members than a trashy book, a glass of red wine and the silence of night.

Now, I do know what this list means because eventhough the dirty dinner dishes are yacking at me, I’m not a total nutter. And I have already started the process of tackling it. I have called my doctor to turn myself in to his prescriptive recommendations. As much as I hate drugs and their side effects I have to face the music and quiet the noise that Lady Anxiety, who currently dwells in just about every pore of my being, is creating. Hate, hate, hate to do it, but do it I must. Uck.


4 Comments so far
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I hated to do it, too, but now I have had to admit, after four failed attempts to go off my little pharmaceutical friend, that I am on it for life. And I am so grateful to have it.

Ask your doctor about Celexa. It has been great for me for many years. My health plan does not cover it, but the generic brand? Is $10 a month.

Comment by jen-o-rama amino acids for anxiety.

Comment by Anonymous

My appointment with my doctor is Friday morning. Given my background, I’m more of talk therapy gal than a medicine gal, but at this point I’m open to medication, at least temporarily. However, all the research demonstrates meds with talk therapy is really the best combination of treatment. This combo usually leads to being able to get off the meds. I’ll let you know what happens. You let me know what happens with you!

Comment by MIM


I started on Prozac today and am already feeling better. I will also start the chat side of things in the next couple of weeks -whenever I can get in to see a therapist.

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope it goes well.


Comment by Caloden

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