Caloden


Jimmer
October 5, 2005, 9:05 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I had a dream about my grandfather last night. He was an amazing character full of playful naughtiness that was a magical experience for a child. My dreams about him are extremely infrequent, perhaps only a handful since his death when I was 19. The first dream actually ocurred on the day of his death, at the approximate time that he was in the emergency room dying. The dreams are always similar. In them I am not expecting to see him and when I do it is always such a relief. He rarely says anything to me, but he always gives me the most amazingly warm smile and then hugs me for a very long time. Sometimes he is the age when he died and other times, like last night, he is in his 50’s. Sometimes it is just a few moments within a dream and others it is the whole dream. Regardless, in the dreams I know he has been looking for me and is there just to let me know that he loves me and that everything is okay. In fact, when he does speak he says, “It’s okay honey. Everything is all right.” When he lets go he smiles again and I know it is time for me to leave. I never have to look back because I can feel his love as I go. The whole experience is always the most beautiful display of unconditional love and acceptance, and I feel safe for days afterwards.

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Wow. What freaks me out the most about this post is that today is the anniversary of both of Matt’s and my grandfathers’ deaths, exactly four years apart to the day. At least, I believe it was today, but it could have been yesterday.

If it was yesterday, then hurting my leg bothers me even more, because I had injuries right before both grandfathers died, and I worry about grandma.

Even so, quite a coincidence.

Comment by jen-o-rama




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